Marriage Project

Jill is lately married to a former radical-cheerleading, performance artist, addiction counselor who makes the best risotto on the planet. It was a Day-of-the-Dead affair.

This is a series of journal like posts made between xxxx and xxxx where I explored the feelings around the marriage equality act and …

Marriage Project, Day 1

February 9, 2012
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So, I got my wife to kick off the Marriage Project: Women in White I am dreading the next few months because my State has passed a marriage equality bill through the House and Senate and, sometime next week amid much fanfare, the Governor will sign it. She’s already promised. And it’s not that my jaded little heart can’t go all goosepimply over the prospect of all those his & his & hers &...

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Marriage Project, Day 2

February 10, 2012
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Thinking about what I’d write for the Marriage Project, I had this terrible urge to argue. And then it drained away, and I got this instead: I watched a barn raising when I was a kid, and envied all of them. Why wouldn’t you help your neighbors? You’ll need them, in your turn, and whatever you’re building will go more quickly if you have help. Strangers came to our wedding. Old friends. Chosen family. My coworkers....

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Marriage Project, Day 3

February 11, 2012
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I woke this morning thinking about this contributor’s story. I write at length about fluidity and grief and love and when I asked for stories I had no idea what I would get — if people’s stories would sound similar. No one’s does. I woke this morning thinking that marriage is like god, we assume everyone pictures the same thing when they say the words, but they don’t. Meet my guest for today’s Marriage...

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Marriage Project, Day 4

February 12, 2012
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It does seem, too often, that we all have collective amnesia. Meet my guest for today’s Marriage Project: As an atheist, I don’t consider my marriage to be a covenant with God. I feel marriage is a vital social institution. The right to create a family should be universal. It is our kin, whether consanguinal, affinal, or fictive, that provide us with the community our species craves and needs to survive. The legal recognition...

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Marriage Project, Day 5

February 13, 2012
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The thing about privilege is that no one earns it. When I married a boy, the deference and seriousness everyone suddenly gave our relationship was confusing and phony. In a curious way, marriage is currently getting a facelift. The pursuit of equality means that people have to examine what they mean by the word ‘marriage’ and why marriage is worth fighting for. Meet my guest for today’s Marriage Project: When I was a “straight”...

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Marriage Project, Day 6

February 14, 2012
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I have no idea why this post makes me think of the Princess Bride, but every time I read it, I think, Marriage, marriage, marriage. Marriage is what brings us to-gever today. Meet my guest for today’s Marriage Project: A couple of years ago, I was asked if I supported gay marriage. I replied with a casual ‘no’ before I realized that I would have to explain my position to not overly shock and...

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Marriage Project, Day 7

February 15, 2012
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The footnote is from her wife. And it’s perfect. Meet my guest for today’s Marriage Project: My wedding story I have always been accustomed to the idea of being a bride. I was, after all, brought up in Utah. It was routine growing up there to be focused on securing a husband. Preferably early. I am a good girl so I married by 21. I remember the wedding with discomfort. I couldn’t stop laughing....

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Marriage Project, Day 8

February 16, 2012
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My pen pal is an American in Denmark. She sent this story hours after Mary and I argued about Dan Savage’s decades-old assertion that marriage might be the beginning of the end of gay culture. Now I have even more to think about. Meet my guest for today’s Marriage Project: To be perfectly honest, I have never wanted to get married. But I’ll tell you that I have also felt a little guilty about...

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Marriage Project, Day 9

February 17, 2012
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One of my favorite things about this project is hearing how much people want to celebrate joy. We want to. It’s deep in us, the press toward joy. This post is filled with love. You can feel it as you read. She’s like this in real life, too. Meet my guest for today’s Marriage Project: Marriage … isn’t important to me. The idea of marriage, the equality of it, and access to it, however,...

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Marriage Project, Day 10

February 18, 2012
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I love the idea of boys planning their weddings. Much is made of equality being the destruction of marriage. In fact, it’s a reinvigoration of a concept straight people are so tired of they’ve memorialized the reluctant groom in every medium (those cake toppers with the bride dragging the groom to the altar are just embarrassing). Meet my guest for today’s Marriage Project: Ever since I can remember, I have wanted a family of...

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