Consent

The man is described, during a dinner party, as someone who has a problem with consent. When this is said, I have trouble getting my food down. A problem with consent? That may be the most appalling description I can imagine. This reminds me of the response of two women in their fifties, when I said I hated the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and they asked why because they loved it so much and couldn’t understand why I hadn’t loved it. “It’s vicious,” I say. “And I already know there’s no justice. Why do I want to read about vicious attacks, and no justice? I know this already.”

“You’re so sensitive,” one of them says. She seems surprised. “But there is justice. Lisbeth Salander has justice.”

“No. She has vengeance. And that’s not the same thing.”

Later, one of the women admits to skipping entire pages of the book, and the other to leaving the room during the movie, and I keep wondering, are you sure you loved this story? Are you sure?

And how many women tell me in the beginning of our relationship that nothing horrible has ever happened to them sexually, but several months in, the stories begin to come out. How they didn’t want to call it rape, but they said no and it happened anyway. Or this weird thing that occurred when they were twelve. Or the boyfriend who required this other thing every day.

How many years I hated myself because I didn’t say no. Because I kept silent.

And the thing is, silence is not the same thing as consent. There should be consent, over and over, in your sexual life. There should be consent, over and over, full stop.

3 thoughts on “Consent”

  1. I have known enough women to wonder if I am in the minority. Have known enough to question even myself, my experience. When it gets to seeing that I am lucky… I marvel that we are not equipped for this. Somehow we are still not made for this.

    I do wholeheartedly agree with your thoughts on Lisbeth. There’s something just a bit smarmy about these Larsson novels, too.

  2. I am not going to argue this point. I might discuss it. I’ve been abused. End of story.

    I think, bringing a fictional character into the mix, and tossing in a word like “smarmy”, when the character IS fictional, is interesting. Having read the other comments, I would have to question the use of “rage”…we all have a choice. Granted we may not have been so educated in that choice…but to feel rage, at this stage of the game, is rather…self-defeating…no?

    I certainly would question the two women who lacked the compulsion to back up their assertions, re: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. But even so, have YOU ever had YOUR work, your characters, misunderstood, misread, misinterpreted?

    Abuse is a vicious circle. It lacks concreteness. It lacks definition. It lacks the stability we crave. But that does not mean that what we lack, or crave, is not out there. It takes a huge amount of strength to look that shit in the eye, and say, “No.”

    That’s the “No” that I get. That’s the “No” that I apply. And have. It’s not about looking at something that is presented as “possible” or “probable” and calling it “smarmy”…or looking at it and responding to it with rage. It’s about saying, “No” properly. And meaning it.

    It’s about seeing it…believing it..and changing it. However you can.

  3. I appreciate all of you for your comments. I know this is a button topic, and it’s only fair to say that I’m probably midway through an argument slowly building in my head regarding sex and power. That I have chosen to explore it here, on my blog, has been well considered, and still might be a mistake. My judgment is based on my (currently) prevailing viewpoint that silence is unacceptable.

    I started this argument when I wrote Red Audrey and the Roping as a short story 12 years ago. I might as well run with it now. Education is the only thing that will save us. The only way we can conceivably change our lives is to learn a different and better way. I’m looking for that way. I think we all are on our varied paths.

    Art has purpose, and that purpose is interpretive. Differing viewpoints are a given. In the end, it’s the conversation that’s important. The dialogue. The exchange of information.

    We survive as we must. And I still find myself hip-jerking some bullshit like, why are we giving kids methadone so that they can carry their pregnancies to term? I don’t know a fucking thing about these kids. Not their stories, not their struggles. Not a thing. And my conclusion, when I consider the things I know and the things I don’t, is that the paradigm with the least amount of judgment is going to be the most useful.

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Jill Malone

Jill Malone grew up in a military family, went to German kindergarten, and lived across from a bakery that made gummi bears the size of mice. She has lived on the East Coast and in Hawaii, and for the last seventeen years in Spokane with her son, two dogs, a hedgehog, and a lot of outdoor gear. She looks for any excuse to play guitar. Jill is married to a performance artist and addiction counselor who makes the best risotto on the planet.

Giraffe People is her third novel. Her first novel, Red Audrey and the Roping, was a Lambda finalist and won the third annual Bywater Prize for Fiction. A Field Guide to Deception, her second novel, was a finalist for the Ferro-Grumley, and won the Lambda Literary Award and the Great Northwest Book Festival.

Giraffe People

Giraffe People

Between God and the army, fifteen-year-old Cole Peters has more than enough to rebel against. But this Chaplain’s daughter isn’t resorting to drugs or craziness. Truth to tell, she’s content with her soccer team and her band and her white bread boyfriend.

And then, of course, there’s Meghan.

Meghan is eighteen years old and preparing for entry into West Point. For this she has sponsors: Cole’s parents. They’re delighted their daughter is finally looking up to someone. Someone who can tutor her and be a friend.

But one night that relationship changes and Cole’s world flips.

Giraffe People is a potent reminder of the rites of passage and passion that we all endure on our road to growing up and growing strong. Award-winning author Jill Malone tells a story of coming out and coming of age, giving us a take that is both subtle and fresh.

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A Field Guide to Deception

A Field Guide to Deception

In Jill Malone’s second novel, A Field Guide to Deception, nothing is as simple as it appears: community, notions of motherhood, the nature of goodness, nor even compelling love. Revelations are punctured and then revisited with deeper insight, alliances shift, and heroes turn anti-hero—and vice versa.

With her aunt’s death Claire Bernard loses her best companion, her livelihood, and her son’s co-parent. Malone’s smart, intriguing writing beguiles the reader into this taut, compelling story of a makeshift family and the reawakening of a past they’d hoped to outrun. Claire’s journey is the unifying tension in this book of layered and shifting alliances.

A Field Guide to Deception is a serious novel filled with snappy dialogue, quick-moving and funny incidents, compelling characterizations, mysterious plot twists, and an unexpected climax. It is a rich, complex tale for literary readers.

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Red Audrey and the Roping

Red Audrey and the Roping

Occasionally a debut novel comes along that rocks its readers back on their heels. Red Audrey and the Roping is one of that rare and remarkable breed. With storytelling as accomplished as successful literary novelists like Margaret Atwood and Sarah Waters, Jill Malone takes us on a journey through the heart of Latin professor Jane Elliot.

Set against the dramatic landscapes and seascapes of Hawaii, this is the deeply moving story of a young woman traumatized by her mother’s death. Scarred by guilt, she struggles to find the nerve to let love into her life again. Afraid to love herself or anyone else, Jane falls in love with risk, pitting herself against the world with dogged, destructive courage. But finally she reaches a point where there is only one danger left worth facing. The sole remaining question for Jane is whether she is willing to accept her history, embrace her damage, and take a chance on love.

As well as a gripping and emotional story, Red Audrey and the Roping is a remarkable literary achievement. The breathtaking prose evokes setting, characters, and relationships with equal grace. The dialogue sparks and sparkles. Splintered fragments of narrative come together to form a seamless suspenseful story that flows effortlessly to its dramatic conclusion.

Winner of the Bywater Prize for Fiction, Red Audrey and the Roping is one of the most memorable first novels you will ever read.

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