Why is it that we tolerate behavior from women that we would never tolerate from men? To be specific, we tolerate an unbelievable amount of stalking, controlling and abusive bullshit from women that we would never countenance from men. I have had multiple friends admit to me recently that they either tracked their partner by using her phone or were tracked by their partner through their own phone. Apparently somebody needs to say: That’s not OK. And so I’ll say: That’s not OK.
Our relationships shouldn’t require detectives or military operations. Reading your partner’s email, tracking her movement with phone apps, stalking her, these are not healthy relationship behaviors. And in the internet age of evaporating privacy, maybe we need to go over the ground rules again. If another person hits you, that is not OK. If another person checks through your phone without your permission, that’s not OK. If another person reads your emails, that’s not OK. Nobody else should have your passwords. There’s no good reason to stalk you. Ever.
Pushing isn’t a little more OK than hitting. Screaming at you isn’t a little more OK than chasing you around the house. And if you are giving her a pass because she’s a girl, think about it again. We deserve privacy. We deserve to be safe. We deserve to be treated with respect. We deserve love, not obsession.