We had five infant boys at our wedding, and one of my favorite photos is of Heather and our friend, L., who is visibly pregnant with her daughter. They are both looking at Heather’s newborn with perfect adoration. These two gorgeous ladies, who can’t look away from this gorgeous child. That photo captures the point of weddings for me. Love and community. Simple. Meet my guest for today’s Marriage Project:
Marriage is the baring of a couple’s united soul in front of their friends, family and loved ones. Back in the day, I used to declare I would never get married and never have kids. I didn’t believe either was something that would work for me. We all know how well I stuck to that.
I’ve heard those who are against the choice of two consenting adults to marry unless it is defined in some tattered old book written at a time when women, and people, were property. It’s unpleasant, to say the least, because they pick and choose their morality. This coupled with the splattering of media hype of such folks as the Kardashians, etc., I am sorry … but I don’t think two women or men pledging their love threatens the sanctity of marriage. I think what threatens the sanctity of marriage is those who don’t treat it with its due love and respect..and those qualities are not gender-specific.
I’ve heard people insult the gay community, claiming them to be frivolous and promiscuous. Yet when the gay community asks to be married, they are denied. So they can’t get married, so they must be frivolous and promiscuous. I call bullshit on this. It’s a vicious cycle with no exit sign. At least, until recently. (Thank you Washington!)
I cried many tears at my friends’ wedding, not because of my recent childbirth, but because my heart was raw in feeling the depth of their love and devotion to each other. “Will you feed me ice chips on my death bed?” still haunts me to this day. They are an extraordinarily beautiful couple, and I would defend their right to love each other as staunchly as my right to love my husband. There is an ease, and a natural beauty to their relationship with which I cannot imagine anyone could find fault. And I know there are so many couples out there, waiting with bated breath for the law to recognize their love as legal. Sad part is, they shouldn’t have to wait.
I look forward to a day when the concern is what it is in our hearts, and not so much what is between our legs, or what some feels offends their religious agenda. These same couples that those types feel shouldn’t be allowed to marry also work, pay taxes, many have children, and are very much contributing members of society … so to hold back their right to marry is dehumanizing.
Love is love, no matter whose body it possesses, and it’s time to love, and let love.
Heather Youngs
Spokane, WA
