My Saturn Return was a serious flaying. Birth of first child, quit job, get another job, affair, separation, date crazy girl, divorce, family bothered by divorce and by girl, etc. It was a really long journey. And most of what I learned was that everything is transient. Eventually even pain ends. That’s kind of a crucial concept, really. Kind of a hopeful one.
I think Saturn is about the strip down. The paring away of all those things you have clung to. Your concepts of yourself, and money, and comfort, and the things you take for granted like friendship and family and love. Well, anyway, that was my journey. Your journey will be yours.
But the part I love is the aftermath. When you, naked, look at the garden you have left, and realize that you weren’t so much thrown out — not really, not thrown. It’s not the disobedience that ruined you, but knowledge. Knowledge is what made where you were a place you could no longer stay. Knowledge is what allowed a new journey to find you.
6 thoughts on “Saturn Return”
I think that what’s interesting about what you’re saying is that the “strip down” is voluntary. It’s necessary, but decidedly chosen. And that’s what makes it powerful.
Although I wonder if, maybe, the planets don’t help us just a little. My friend Dan has a saying: At the moment of commitment, the Universe conspires to assist.
That must have something to do with my completely illogical decision to quit smoking in the middle of this shit storm.
(This post is lovely, by the way.)
What better time to quit smoking than when you have so much to distract you?
I’m just reading this today – december of 2009 – trying to process how my daddy could walk away from his marriage of 35 years and leave my mom so devastated she doesn’t want to leave her bed, with my brother and I standing in the middle of the shit storm trying to hold together whats left of our family.
This post gave me insight to him and helped me be a little less angry and a little more sad.
Have you ever “empty chaired”? Sit across from an empty chair, imagine the person with whom you want to communicate, and let go.
Say everything, and anything. It’s a similar idea to writing your wishes down on a sheet of paper, folding the paper into a boat, and watching it float down the nearest water source.
Thanks for your honesty. And I believe it: eventually even pain ends.
That last paragraph blew me away. It was revelatory. “It’s not the disobedience that ruined you, but knowledge. Knowledge is what made where you were a place you could no longer stay.” Perfect.
I didn’t realize there was a term for this. but this is what life had handed me this last year. A means of breaking out of cyclical patterns I had been following for… years, really. Funny. 2012 was a year of “apocalyptic” changes for a LOT of people. Its what we choose to do with a year or years of climate changes and hard circumstances.