True things

1. I have ten strands of grey hair. And feel, somehow, more legitimate.
2. The songs most often in my head are from My Fair Lady and Sesame Street Sing-alongs.
3. My first hardcore crush was on Michael J. Fox. I had posters, and only drank Pepsi to demonstrate my fidelity. I was already taller than he was.
4. Or maybe it was on black-haired Susan. In first grade I told her we should get married, and she said, “OK.”
5. Parsnips in soup taste like little sparks.
6. When I was twelve, I started playing guitar. Playing music written by other people has never really interested me. I’d rather hear them play it, and keep after my own.
7.  My favorite bedtime story is the Selfish Giant.
8. My dogs are relentlessly loyal to one another, and get upset if one of them is indoors and the other out. But if Latte is being naughty, Kali totally rats her out.
9. I was afraid I’d be a lousy mother.
10. When I’m nervous or lonely, I repeat poetry to myself. I wish I knew more Auden.
11. I’ve always wanted to be Robin Hood or Batman.
12. I cannot use scissors properly.
13. In the mornings, when I was supposed to be practicing piano, I’d read novels instead. My dad only caught me once.
14. I’d love to write a noir graphic novel.
15. My fingernails were inches long when I was thirteen. That was the same year I carried a purse.
16. Kites seem like perfect symbols.
17. When girls used to ask me out in school, I’d tell them I was a girl, and they wouldn’t believe me.
18. I wish I could hold my soul. Just for a minute. I want to know if it burns.
19. There’s a tree in my yard that wants to be climbed.
20. I laugh harder than I used to.
21. Gavin nicknamed me Pickle and himself Meerkat.
22. Cut flowers break my heart.
23. My great aunt told this story about getting a telegram that her first husband had been killed in WWII. She got in her convertible and drove until she ran out of gas and then she started running. In her heels and fur coat. She said she lost everything in the desert.
24. Mary always says she’s not dating her best friend. I know what she means. I married mine, and it was never enough.
25. At 4 a.m., the rooster went on and on in a strangled cry. Sometimes I think he’s calling to the night. His insistence comforts me. His defiant resolve. We should cry more. Louder. We should let the sound ring through us.

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